Dear School Superintendent

Superintendent of Schools

Any Frigid City,


Dear Sir/Madam,

I hope this letter finds its way to you after being screened for Anthrax, razor blades or threatening language; hazards of your job these days I guess.

And frankly, those options occurred to me too because it is snowing here. Again.

However, I come in peace.

Ok, I lied, I come to you exhausted and without the energy to put up a fight. You see, I woke up when the alert for school closings landed in my inbox and text strand. Approximately 4:45am.

That alert sets off a series of events that brings any chance of blissful slumber to a crashing halt. Despite the day of NOTHINGness that I know stretches in front of me.

The glare from my iPhone screen at that hour is like staring straight into the sun. Blinding. As I squint to read, the movement is directly linked to the dog’s bladder and he hops up ready for a walk.


After making coffee and walking the dog, it is only 5:15am. And I am soaked, windblown and wide awake thankyouverylittle. Thank God I can check Twitter and Facebook and read all the snow comments for entertainment.

Couple that with flake by flake reports on television and it is way better than sleeping. Right? I mean, the remote reporters truly believe today is the first day that it has snowed. Ever.

I am sure when you were just a Superintendent Wannabe, social media was a twinkle in Mark Zuckerberg’s eye. There was no way to predict the public flogging you would get from November to March every year.

Flash forward to 2015 and whoo-wee are you trending, my friend.

It must be heady stuff being the last thought at night and the first thought in the morning for millions of people. I admit I have loved you, hated you, inquired about a mental health evaluation for you and prayed for you.

Do you ever turn on the Travel Channel or “Hawaii Life” and fantasize about the School Superintendent job in say, Honolulu? Other than the occasional lava emergency, I am thinking this is the job of kings.


But back to me.

I have no idea what time you wake up in order to autotron me at the crack of dawn. You must sleep with one eye open, if at all.

In your defense, you depend on the weather service for information which would cause anyone to lose sleep. If the Hawaii job is ideal, then weather forecasting is employment Nirvana. Seriously, where else is accuracy not a prerequisite?

In fact, if you have a magic eight ball, you can do it yourself. Go on. Give that puppy a shake. All of the answers are vague; any reply will make you sound like a real meteorologist.

magic 8 ball

But all I ask is that when you are trying to deal with Mother Nature, remember the other Mothers. The mothers in the trenches.

Because every day is a battle but a snow day is all out war. Don’t make us put on our armor if it is just a drill.

Snow-Phobic and Jacked up on Caffeine in Suburbia


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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

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