Days 11 and 12, 2014


I am combining these two days because it was all about the same thing.

Back to School 2014

It seems that I blinked and missed summer. My bad.. But, in my defense, it does get shorter and shorter every year so you really have to be paying attention.

Which, overall, is not my strong suit.

So it was that I found myself in the car on Wednesday morning at 6:20 with a cup of coffee and Murphy, the wonder dog, doing a dry run for the new Gonzaga carpool

Since dogs have no poker face whatsoever, I know he was super psyched 1) to be back in the routine of riding shotgun to drop off Mac and 2) to have me alone. He was showing his enthusiasm by jumping all over the car which was putting my coffee cup in peril.

This is my first carpool route that features speed cameras. Wow, this is gonna’ suck. I envision all savings on Metro fare being totally eaten up by speed camera tickets.

I always end up waiting until the last minute to pay those tickets on principle. That means I have to keep track of the paper ticket—complete with a picture of my license plate sailing down the street—for about 4 weeks amid my piles of other really, really important stuff.

Which, overall, is not my strong suit.

There is no high school supply list. Mac just imagines what he needs based on how badly we botched school supplies the year before. Having secured a $125 backpack that he SWEARS will last until college why was I balking at a $4.99 notebook?

Oh, that’s right! It is because we have 5 notebooks from last year that could get him through the first semester of this year. He agreed to keep the least used notebook and I bought two more. He picked up seven folders in different colors for each subject’s classwork and we are done.

High school rocks.

Conversely, the middle school supply list for the other boys is as long as my arm so I am currently in denial about that one. Actually, at the end of each summer, I am in a state of denial so often that I should just declare residency.

My house goes on lockdown this week as we “taper” our way back to some reasonable sleep schedule. This is as painful as Daylight Savings used to be when they were infants. It is light when it is supposed to be dark. People are awake when they are supposed to be asleep. People—mostly me—are tired and cranky. I should just let it slide and assume the kids will work it out when school begins.

But, overall, that is not my strong suit.

Thursday morning my alarm chimed at 4:45am. I felt like an amnesia victim. I had no idea who I was, where I was or why everything was so dark. Even the dog balked at the hour when I took him for a walk. He was sluggish and uninspired.

I knew exactly how he felt.

The dog had the luxury of going immediately back to sleep when we got home. I had the luxury of coffee to enjoy for 25 minutes until I had to wake up Mac. I turned on the TV and there was Chuck Norris, my faithful pre-dawn buddy. He and Janine Turner were all amped up on Bowflex adrenaline which was more annoying than it would be at, say, 9am so I switched on the computer instead.

OMG Back to School Videos.

Holy overachiever. These are serious videos with music and back to school lyrics and different locations and wardrobe changes. I am positive that I would not like these people if I knew them. But, I still watched the entire, “Baby Got Class” video anyway. I think of all the extra time I would have if I had the willpower not to get sucked into social media hype, videos, posts and blogs.

But, overall, that is not my strong suit.

Mac woke up, reluctantly, and I stood in the kitchen struggling to remember what I used to pack him for lunch. Maybe I really did have amnesia, it was only three months ago.

**See photo of mountain of snacks that are required for one day of commuting, school and work outs. Photo does not show sandwich and breakfast items. Finding beef jerky in individual packs was akin to the first moonwalk in my house **

We were in the car, I was not speeding and we were on time. If we stopped right then, the first day would have been a monumental success.

I took a picture of Mac before we left the house in my annual first day of school torture session but Mac groaned when he brought it up on my camera roll.

It seems as if pulling everything out for trash BEFORE the photo was ill advised. Mac was overshadowed by the overflowing recycling bin. The caption would say, “Here is Mac ready for another great year and yes we consumed a 30-pack of Miller Lite to celebrate.” I wish I took better photos. My kids, really, really wish I took better photos.

But, overall, that is not my strong suit.

I vowed to crop it before sharing with anyone but I could tell that he was already tense anticipating the horror to unfold at the carpool photo opp. The only thing worse than your mom taking pictures of you is having three other moms taking pictures and talking to you at the same time.

We stood in our friend’s driveway, shouting, laughing, and beeping our horns at 6:30 in the morning when it was still summer for 90% of the county. See that is what the first day of school does. You lose all common sense and decency for your fellow man.

I pulled into the garage at home and glanced at the picture in still frame on my phone. It was a solo shot of Mac on his friend’s lawn. With no bins or trash in site, it was easy to focus on the optimism and enthusiasm of youth.

I texted him and told him to let me know if they made it on time. And gave him a reminder to see the guidance counselor and check the balance on his dining card. Lastly, I told him that he was awesome and that I loved him.

Because, overall, believing in him is my strongest suit


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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

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