Day Seven

It was almost exactly 11:30pm. I stumbled upstairs from the basement like Rip Van Winkle. Bleary-eyed, grumpy and totally unaware of the happenings during my absence. I gathered there was a storm from the rain streaked windows. I think everyone ate dinner because there were dishes, pots and pans piled in the sink. I knew everyone was asleep because the house was blanketed in dark silence.
When I went downstairs to call Dell at 6pm, I never dreamed that I would be held captive for over five hours fixing the computer that had vexed me all weekend. I wanted to kiss the hardwoods in the darkness and scream “Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, free at last.”
When I realized that it had been five hours, I started tallying the sad statistics:

Number of hours on the phone with Dell- 10 total over three days

Number of times I got disconnected- 7

Number of times I was asked for my telephone number in case we got disconnected- 11

Number of times someone actually used that number to call me back when we were disconnnected- 0

Number of times I used sign language to say “no” or “sorry” to my kids- 30 I am actually rounding down on this one. It seemed like every five seconds.

Number of times I said words I wasn’t proud of- 26 That may be an understatement as well…

Number of times I heard the front door open and close without knowing who was coming or going- 100’s

Number of times Dell said “sorry” to me- 25

Number of times I said “sorry” to Dell- 0

Number of hours I spent on hold- almost 2 hours over three days

Number of times I found myself humming along to the bad piped-in hold music– 10 Again this may be a gross understatement to minimize the shame.

Number of times I spelled my last name- 15

Number of times they called me “Steelez” even after I pronounced my last name- 15

Number of times I said, “I am giving this another half hour and then I am done and calling in a professional.” – 12

In the light of day, the only number that mattered was the number of times it took for my new and improved lap top to connect to the Internet. One. Only one. But who’s counting?

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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos

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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

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