Day Two

After being foiled at every turn on Monday, I went with a radical move on Tuesday. The “no-plan-plan.” I had plenty of ideas in my head of things that had to get done but I was not sharing them with anyone. They contained nasty words like “vacuum”, “trash” and “chores.” Every parent knows that the key to success is all smoke and mirrors. Not outright lying but a recipe of creative imagery blended with a dose of evasiveness. So, I pretended that something fantastic was just around the corner if I could just get through all this other household stuff.

So, I decided to employ all the rules I learned for successful first dates years ago:

1. Stay on neutral topics— I avoided land mines such as “Mom can someone PLEASE come over?” by turning on the vacuum and holding up my index finger in the universal wait signal until they wandered off afraid that they may have to actually help.

2. Smile and nod even if you disagree— By the end of the day, I had turned biting my tongue into an art-form. When the boys decided to have a fainting contest, crashing to the ground over and over again to see who could appear the most lifeless, I just smiled and kept putting away groceries. And when they all put on football helmets and had tackling drills in the family room, I calmly moved the coffee table and tackled the dishes in the sink, turning the water on high.

3. Food is the great equalizer— Every time the boys tried to paint me into the corner asking, “What are we going to DO today?” I would answer “Who’s hungry?” We made pizza, cookies and pancakes for dinner.

4. Offer to pay–When things got dicey late in the afternoon with all the boys whining in unison “I’m bored!!” I made the bold move of offering $2 to the kid who could figure out what the smell was in the pantry and get rid of it. Not only did my pantry get cleaned out, but it took over an hour, wrapping up just in time for football practice

At the end of the day, I sat reading a book as the boys trooped off to bed. On the way up the stairs Drew said, “We never did anything today.” So I pulled out my last trick from the dating book and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek to end the evening. All smoke and mirrors. Until tomorrow that is.

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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos

WordPress.com

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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

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