The Down Low

Remember the “low talker” from Seinfeld?  I thought this character, along with “the sidler” and “the maestro” were relegated to rerun status. That was until I went to my local Wendy’s drive-thru last week. The “low talker” has returned and I got him with a side of fries. My middle son and I dashed out to Wendy’s to get Frosty’s and root beer floats for friends. We pulled around to the speaker and I turned down the radio anticipating my static laden greeting from the drive-thru attendant. “Welcome…..hrrshmmrrw fggwrtnm, dwoqqpmx?” To which I responded, “um, hi, I need some Frosty’s?”  More static and “mrrwpptrv tbbapplo.”  My son and I stared at each other. Why do they always put the least clear person on the microphone? The drive-thru job comes with a myriad of responsibilities the least of which is actually taking the order. They need to be able to decipher the real order from the one that the kids are screaming in the background.  They need to realize that just  because they hear me threatening my children that we will “pull around all the other cars, jump the curb and leave without our food” doesn’t mean I will actually do it. And they need to intuit that if they make me wait to the side so someone can run out my “fast food order” I will likely go postal on them right there in the parking lot. So you will have to pardon my astonishment that the low talker has been assigned such a monumental task. Yet, I forge ahead. “Yes, well, I need two medium frostys, one vanilla and one chocolate, one root beer float and two twistys, one with M&M’s, the other Oreo.”  I nodded my head in satisfaction at my son. There.  Done. Success. The low talker responded with what I assumed was the reading back of my order and total owed, although he could’ve been reciting War and Peace and I wouldn’t have known the difference. I gunned the engine and pulled to the window to confront my low talker in the flesh. As he charged my credit card I listened to him garble to the customer behind me. I strained to hear the other end of the order but I could only stare at the low talker and try and figure out what he was saying. No luck. He sounded no better in person than through the box. He handed my order to me through the window without conversation and I noticed he had forgotten my receipt. Wendy’s has a policy that if you don’t get a receipt before you leave the drive-thru you get your meal for free. So, I informed him that he had neglected to pass me my receipt. Suddenly the low talker sprung to life and nearly shouted, ” I did not forget your receipt, I have it right here. You are wrong.” Well that message was certainly clear. I took my receipt and noted that money speaks volumes, even among the low talkers of the world.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Maria Perry
    Nov 11, 2009 @ 14:16:27

    hrrshmmrrw…I mean, hilarious!


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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

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