Sssssh! You are about to be debriefed on a top secret mission. Any breeches in security will be considered deliberate and will be punishable to the extent that the caffeine that empowers me will allow. We have named our mission WAGS which doesn’t really stand for anything but is relevent to the canine world so it works. Are you still with me? This is high-level stuff. In the absence of an acronym, I will cut to the chase. This operation’s sole goal is to convince one Mark Stiles to acquire a dog. Not just any dog, but a hypoallergenic adorable dog that won’t shed, ruin the grass, bark incessantly or eat all of Mr. Stiles’ running shoes. I’m not sure when I chose to accept this mission but now that I have, I am fully invested in a positive outcome. My fellow operatives have had many unsuccessful fly-bys. The first attempt was dog sitting this summer as a ruse to make Mr. Stiles see how adept they were. The subject saw through this charade as I was called in to rescue the operatives time and time again. The crew then devised a plan to have a neighbor canine visit our home for a play date. The plan was aborted as the dog chewed noisily on one of my flip-flops after knocking over the water bowl we put out for him. Finally, operation WAG kicked into high gear as we drove a friend’s chocolate lab in the car to let him frolic during a football practice that Mr. Stiles was coaching. The dog leapt from seat to seat diving for the abundant crumbs as my less experienced operatives cowered and I attempted not to compromise the mission in a fiery car crash on I-270. Once at said practice, the dog in our charge was then attacked by a rogue German Shepherd and it was the lab’s turn to cower with the subjects as I put my non-existent martial arts training into practice. Unharmed, and inexplicably undeterred, the mission is still a top priority for all concerned. Our youngest operative has suggested hiding the dog in our annual Easter Egg hunt. A suggestion that will require further review but it largely without merit. We invite any operatives to join our mission but be warned Mr. Stiles is a skilled negotiator who has veto power. It will take intelligence, man-power and perhaps a large dose of alcohol for Mr. Stiles to change his position. All public references to this mission will be ignored unless you can actively aid in duping subject into acquiescence.  I must sign off, I hear his footfall and the operatives are shouting something about dinner. Remember: Together we can move mountains, or at the very least scoop some poop.


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Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

Magnificence in the Mundane

Finding humor in kids and chaos is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

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